


I will leave a light on

by hiimnew



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Avengers Family, Awesome Phil Coulson, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Protective Nick Fury, Slow Burn, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:00:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25980232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiimnew/pseuds/hiimnew
Summary: *TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF HARM, DRUG USE, DRINKING AND SUICIDE ATTEMPTS*'Wrote it listening to Tom Walker's Leave a light on' Might make it better to read while listening to itTony's spiraling with parties, drinking and drugs and after a near fatal car accident he ends up int he hospital wishing he had died and tries again while in the hospital but he hears what he needs to hear when he needs it and starts to think maybe he should try living again.Nick brings Tony to a new program hoping to save the young genius and honor his promise to Tony's mother before she died and while Tony doesn't remember him Nick refuses to let the kid drown alone, he's got to at least try to pull him out of the deep water.Might add more tags and ships as I go on
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Betty Ross, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 22





	1. Wishing to have drowned

Tony didn't care that the press was memorializing his spiral downwards he just wanted to party and forget, he didn't attended their funerals instead he got drunk and high and partied for days nonstop, came home with different girls and guys to drown out emptiness, built random shit, crashed his car a few times after drinking. The days he didn't go out he partied alone in self-pity playing with the guns and knives kept in the house shooting every mirror that showed how bad it had gotten, he lost weight, he self-harmed, he burned bridges and shut people out even though he wanted them to stay, he'd not sleeping or eating not that he did a whole lot anyway. 

Tony wakes to the sound of machines and muted chattering as something pushes air down his throat to help him breathe, he can't move and everything hurts but he's not scared in fact he's numb to it he can only guess he crashed one of his cars again and this time it was a lot worse to make him end up like this but his only wish is that he hadn't woken up at all. Over the next few hours Tony slips in and out of consciousness as nurses and a doctors come and go doing their job and Tony just hopes he gets to die this time, he just really doesn't want to wake up but each time he does and his soul tires just a little more with each time his eyes open to find himself stuck in that fucking bed. The next time he opens his eyes he already knows he's not alone and a voice confirms it as the man's deep and calm tone breaks the silence of the beep machines and the hissing of air that had been his only company for what must have been days before he woke up today.

"I see they were right when they said you had woken up" The man muses mostly to himself not that Tony could answer him anyway

"Tony, do you know who I am?" The man asks and Tony glances over to see him

The man is big both in height and build with dark skin and salt and peppered short hair, one of his eyes is covered by a patch and he's wearing black suit pants with combat boots and a dark grey turtle neck under a black trench coat, he does seems a little familiar but Tony can't place him in any of his memories which says a lot but he might be a bit high still so.

"I'll take that as a no" The man huffs amused when Tony simply looks away almost dismissing him

"My name is Nicholas Fury I'm the director at SHIELD" Fury introduces himself and if he could Tony would have rolled his eyes

"You did a real number this time kid, they thought you'd be DOA" Fury tells him, and Tony wishes he had

"But I think that was the point" Fury adds, and Tony manages a slight glare

"I'm not judging kid, I have some questions but they can wait, you should rest some more" Fury says before getting up and leaving

Tony hates how his body does just that and he sleeps for the first time in a very long while. Over the next few days Fury comes and goes simply talking as Tony is forced to listen to him and he gets stronger each time but not strong enough to change anything and Fury seems stuck on the idea of him joining a special team not that Tony wants to. A week passes and while nothing has changed much Tony is sitting up a bit with the help of the bed playing a game on his phone and Fury talks his ear of once again but now Tony just thinks it's to annoy him since the man does seem to be enjoying it for someone so stoic, after an hour new something happens.

"I've been looking for you sir" Someone grumbles coming into the room Tony glances up to see an English man standing there annoyed

"What can I do for you Coulson?" Fury asks totally ignoring the comment

"Clint and Steve got hurt their just down the hall but we-" Phil begins to drone on

"Phil we're good to go" Someone around Tony's age cuts in and glancing up he sees a small group coming up

"I'll be there in just a moment" Phil tells them before gesturing to Tony with his eyes"I'll come back another time kid" Fury says getting up only getting the finger in return

As soon as they leave and are out of sight Tony tosses the phone onto the chair the man was just sitting in and undoes the gown with some difficulty to see the damage or more importantly one spot in particular, the spot glass had gone through his chest which is what should have killed him but it didn't knowing it's gonna hurt doesn't stop him though. Tony takes a shaky hand and begins to tear open the bandage and then pushes onto the wound until it starts to ooze blood and he can feel it both inside and out as it runs down him and tastes it in his throat but he keeps pushing until the machines start to go crazy around him and he starts to fade out. His last sight was of nurses and doctors rushing to the room panicked before he slips into the darkness hoping the damage is enough to kill him properly this time and this time he focuses on the darkness that's so cold and empty like he's drowning in ice water but still he walks further into it to the point it hurts like he's being stabbed by the cold and dragged further in by the heavy water of the darkness.

Outside Nurses and doctors rush to his failing body and lay him down as they start to frantically stop the bleeding and keep him from crashing but as the seconds drag on they can feel him fighting against them and he ends up flat lining twice but each time they bring him back and manage to stabilize him only for him to crash again. On the second re-stabilizing they manage to keep him with them and move him to the ICU still covered in his blood until a surgery room opens up and they can get him even though he'll still be in the ICU after and in a medically induced coma to make sure he heals enough before he can try it again as they're sure he will when he wakes up.

Inside Tony lets himself drown almost comfortably and the first time a blinding tunnel above him opens sending down a rope Tony doesn't reach for it instead moves further into the darkness growing heavier with each step and the second the rope doesn't stop and wait for him this time it tangles around him and drags him back into the light. While he doesn't wake Tony can feel himself still there just trapped under the surface and for a while he's angry, really angry but he grows tired again soon and gives up on everything only wishing to get high or drunk to make himself quiet but he's only able to watch himself and the room he's in like some sort of living ghost. Tony sits on the edge of his bed watching the people passing by the room as they hurry to someone else one of his hands rest on his own body's hand where he can finally feel some sort of warmth coming through heating him up and he watches for hours with nothing else to do, sometimes he feels his thumb rub circles on his own hand as if he's trying to comfort himself. The ironic image of himself laying in the ICU covered in wires, machines and bandages is funny since it's the most alive he's looked in ages and he can't help the smile that twitches on his lips at the irony of it all being on his death door looking more alive than when he was living his live freely.

Over the next couple of times he sees a few people linger on his room watching before they move on only to come back some time later and after a week or two the nurses start letting people in not that anyone comes in or wake him but right now he's okay with that. After a while someone finally comes into his room and watches from just inside the doorway to the side to stay out of the way and silently observes him as if he was some doll on display which granted he kind of is. Tony takes in the stranger, a boy probably older than him and bigger too at about six foot one and strongly built too with fair skin and the whitest ice blue eyes Tony has ever seen, he's got a metal left arm and his shoulder length brown hair is half tied up while he's wearing ripped black jeans with combat boots and a worn dark red tee. Tony's only guess is that he's somehow connected to Fury since no one else would be checking in on him but it makes Tony wonder as to why this stranger was here watching him, protecting him really acting like some sort of guard but the only person Tony needs to worry about hurting him is himself but maybe the stranger already knows that. Tony sighs and brushes the overgrown black curls off his forehead making it look as if a breeze had drifted in and the stranger seems to notice it as his eyes lock onto the motion and his head tilts slightly to the side since there should not be any kind of breeze in here and he's right there isn't.

After a few more minutes the stranger leaves just as quietly as he had come in leaving Tony alone with himself once again and he retreats back into his mind to see if he can find the darkness again but he finds nothing in the little area of his mind he's stuck in and he knows his mind is dreaming but Tony won't look at that he doesn't want to know. Tony stays there zoned out wishing for the darkness to wash over him instead as time passes him by Tony waits and waits until he feels warm tears escape down his face from what must have been one of the dreams he was having but then he feels something could wipe them away and he stands turning to look to find the stranger there again. The stranger was using one of his metal fingers to wipe off the tears that had managed to escape his grasp on the bottled emotions he's buried deep inside himself but as soon as the tears are gone the stranger moves away and out of Tony face and he surprises himself when it's his body's eyes clench along with his own confused squint at the stranger. Tony does it again and feels himself clenching the eyes again before relaxing again and tries something else this time he makes a fist but his hand doesn't do that instead his finger twitches against the sheets and he breathes a little deeper as if drawing his own breath. The stranger waits a second before he flags down a nurse who quickly comes in to check him over and when she adjusts the IV in his hand his finger twitches again and he breathes deeper again surprising her enough she freezes before she smiles a little and relaxes shoulders slumping and then he can hear her soft whispers.

"You did it" She gasps quietly

"You're breathing on your own" She whispers tears in her eyes

"Welcome back Tony" She sniffs hand resting on his hair, the touch is motherly and warm making another tear slip from his eye and down his cheek

"He can hear you" The stranger says quietly voice deep and cold but as calming as the darkness that had swallowed him before

"I know. You've been missed by so many" The nurse tells him tears on her cheeks and voice wet before leaving to take a minute to pull herself together again

The stranger doesn't say anymore and before he leaves he puts on the TV and Tony can hear the news replaying over and over as people he's known, people he's helped, people who have worried talk over and over and Tony settles fully back to himself and lets the tears fall as the world rushes by past him and he feels a little less alone. 

"We have great news for our listen yours today we've heard that Tony Stark is stable and out of the woods" A news anchor says

"I don't like the Stark's much but Tony helped me son when he needed it most and I thank him everyday I get to share with son" A woman cries

"I have an arm again thanks to Tony and it hurt watching him on the news like that" A man admits

"Tony used to tell me he'd leave the light on for anyone who needed it and so ever since then I've left my light on" A young girl confess

"People all over the city have been leaving lights on since Tony Stark's near fatal car crash" Someone reports

"He only helps and he never asks for anything I just wish he would have let us help him" Someone young tells the news

"I know most adults don't feel the same as us or ever really believed us but we see who Tony is, we follow his work in the shadows, we support him in comments, and Tony if you can hear this we miss you! We really miss you!" Someone cries

"Tony's done so much for veterans, single parents, those in need and yet we all seemed to over look his needs" Someone says

"Artists have been posting tributes of support for Tony Stark and people are coming forward in support of him and his healing" An anchor says

"Mom when's Tony visiting? When he gets better love, the kids at the hospital miss him and his toys, My son is getting better because of Tony and I wish I could have repaid him" A woman says tearful with a young child next to her

"We left the lights on Tony!!!!" A group of kids cheer

And Tony sleeps to the sound of people telling him to keep going and maybe he can try again but he's so tired and still hopes when he shuts his eyes they'll never open again.


	2. Belial

The next time he wakes it it's a couple days later and he's been moved to a different room and out of the ICU and the tube is gone instead they've used a nose pronged breathing tube which means he's breathing on his own again and he's able to move better this time but he's still in bad shape but much better than he was a few weeks ago. A couple days pass before anyone other than the nurses and doctors come by this time it's a little kid and his mom, the kid is wearing little dinosaur onesie pajamas and he's connected to a feeding tube and IV pole and messy orange curls sit on his head, his mom is young and slim looking just like her son with the short orange curly hair and she's wearing a sundress with sandal.Tony sits up a bit better and returns the kids smile as they pair walk in and come up to the side of his bed before she can protest Tony helps the kid onto his bed and into his lap ignoring the pain it brings him but he keeps smiling as the woman sits down in one of the chairs. 

"I'm sorry about him" The woman huffs with a smile

"I don't mind, he's grown though" Tony tells her and her smile brightens

"You know me?" The kid asks excited

"Forget you? I don't forget" Tony huffs as Adam's mom Hailey laughs 

"You got lots of boo-boos" Adam scolds making Tony laugh

"I do don't eye" Tony admits with a crooked grin

"I'm glad you're okay Tony" Hailey admits softly hand on his arm

"I wish I could share that thought" Tony grumbles softly just to her

"Tony, Read me this!" Adam says handing Tony a small tablet he had donated with a 3D projection holograph system

"Sure thing, Hailey can be the princess" Tony says opening the table and letting the hologram come up

The pair spend an hour with Tony before they had to go back to their own room but not before they get a picture and promise to come back and as soon as they're out of sight the smile drops and the light dims in his eyes as his cold front comes back no longer warmed by the sunny people in his room and it doesn't change when someone clears their throat and he looks over.

"That's quite the change" Fury observes

"What do you want?" Tony sighs annoyed

"Making sure you don't try anything again" Fury shrugs sitting in the chair Hailey had just been in

"You can't stay awake and here 24/7 you know?

"Tony sneers sitting back with short breaths

"You're right I can't but I never said I'd been doing it alone" Fury tells him

"The hospital is already watching so it's not like I could do it anyway" Tony growls before he winces in pain hands going to his chest

"Can I get a nurse in here!" Fury calls out

A nurse comes in right away adding another dosage of pain medication and laying him down flat as well as pushing a small sedative which makes him drowsy and eventually he falls asleep again under Fury's watchful eye and that's when the man finally takes in every aspect of the teen and the damage he's done to himself. While Tony had never been very manly looking or big his delicate frame was nearing severely underweight, the oxygen hisses with every breath he takes and the bruises and cuts on him are starting to fade. His chest is tightly bandaged and hooked onto a few different machines and he also has some tubes coming through the bandages, it's not just the glass that he took to the chest he also broken a few ribs and his collar bone, dislocated an elbow and knee, broke the other ankle and a bad concussion. He's got some really bad gashes that were stitched closed and now healing, a broken eye socket and a large bandage on his cheek that crosses over his nose, a bandage on the side of his neck from another gash and some broken fingers. The once honey colored skin now paler and blotted with different injuries and scars from the self-harming, his once stylish black curly hair now loose and long brushing into his eyes and reaching his ears enough from a small bit to be tucked behind, those whiskey colored eyes he got from his mother dim and lifeless and the once perceived lively outgoing genius gone to the weight of years that no one should have gone through. 

The gown on him is a bit too baggy for his liking and the blankets on the bed make him look far too small even though it's only a few sheets really since it's starting to become fall once again, it's been a good couple months since the crash had happened and he still can't figure out how the teen managed to survive it, he's seen the pictures nobody, nobody should have ever made it out alive. There was practically nothing left of the car after it had rolled off the road through a road barrier and into the tart of some woods where they found parts of the car embedded in the trees and pieces scattered for feet in every direction and there he was still in the driver's seat covered in blood and debris with the windshield smashed in and going through his chest inches from his heart and lungs. He looked dead in those photos but he somehow made it out alive even with the near deaths and attempts on himself he somehow was still there and talking to him and Fury's starting to think the new was right, the kid's got the devils luck on his side to make it out like he did.

Tony knows what everyone says and thinks about him having the devil's own personal luck and they're not wrong he's damn sure he does he just wishes the fucker would take it back already and let him fucking die but nope he's got that luck wound so tight around himself he can't get it off no matter how hard he fucking tries. In his mind Tony finds himself sitting at a candle lit dinner lit by the candles and a chandelier above the table as music plays in the background, checking himself he finds himself in his favorite suit and shoes as he checks the time he can hear heels clicking like an echo and looks up to find a woman smiling back at him. 

She's stunning standing at probably six feet tall and the perfect hourglass figure like Jessica Rabbit, her skin is blood red with a few smoky grey lights drawn on to her, long black wavy hair flows around her with parts tied in dainty small braids decorated with gold rings. Her eyes are a glowing white and from her forehead come two horns brushing over her head then turned up at the ends with a sharp point and as they turn up they go from her skin tone with rivets to a glowing burning white. Her ears are pointed at the top and covered in gold rings and chains, her septum holds a V shaped gold ring and another one sits on the left side of her bottom lip, she's wearing a black strapless sweetheart gown with a long high slit up the right side showing off her leg and the black tattoos that cover it and when she smiles at him he can see her sharp pointed teeth.

"Hello Merchant" She purrs as she sits leaning towards him comfortingly 

"Belial, Haven't heard from you in awhile" Tony smiles somehow feeling safe with her

"Maybe so but I'm always keeping an eye on YOU" Belial purrs reaching out her hand

"Why won't you take it away?" Tony asks taking her hand and her thumbs rubs circles on his as he stares at the table

"I love you dearly, you know this but you're too young child" Belial tells him voice sorrowful and soothing

"Do you need more souls?" Tony asks and she looks angry but not at him

"Merchant look at me" Belial says moving to kneel before him and takes his other hand too

"I don't want souls from you, your weapons don't make you my merchant. What makes you my merchant is the single wish you made when you were only an infant" Belial tells him strongly confusing him

"But. What was the wish?" Tony asks choosing the change the topic

"To be safe, to be proven lovable, and you are child you are loved by many and I want you to grow and accept it because when the time comes you'll be safe with me and I will take you in my arms for eternity" Belial promises

"Take me now then" Tony sobs leaning down so their foreheads touch and his tear wash over her face

"You have so many things to learn" Belial says as she vanishes

Tony wakes with a start chocking on his own breaths and partly arched off the bed panicked hands flutter at his chest and as he's about to start tearing off the bandages someone grabs his hands stopping him as he tries to start breathing again but it won't reach his lungs and his eyes aren't seeing anything yet just a blinding light. After a few seconds he can hear someone talking over the sound of the frantic beeping off the monitors hooked up to him and he tries to focus on that instead and the more he listens the easier it is to breath and his sight slowly begins to come back.

"Hey, Hey, you're okay" The voice tries to soothe

"That's it just focus on me" It adds

"Good, that's good, I've got you" She says, it's a she

"Belial, Belial" Tony gasps scared 

"I'm Betty, Fury asked me to sit with you" Betty says unbothered by what he said

"Belial is the devil, right? Were you talking to her? Honestly I believe in them more than Jesus or God but I just like their beliefs better really you know like the rules or whatever they create...." Betty begins to ramble on Tony finds himself relaxing against her and calming down

As Tony listens to her ramble on he takes her in, small about his height maybe 5'5 so maybe two inches smaller than him, thin but womanly with fair skin and long brown hair tucked into a messy bun on her head, thin gold circle frame glasses sit pushed up on her head and neat short nails painted a soft pale blue. She's wearing a worn pale blue and white plaid flowing maxi skirt with an oversized brown chunky knit sweater over it most likely some sort of top under that he can't see with it buttoned up. She's got a paintbrush behind her ear and paint smudges on her hands and some on her face she must have been painting when he started her waking up like that. She's cute as a button and a bit of the studious type reminds him a bit of his mom before drugs took over her like when he was really young this is what he remembers her like, her hazel green flecked eyes focus on him and soften when she notices he's calmed down and studying her she even smile warmly and shyly quickly untucking the paintbrush when she brushes against it accidentally. 

"Did I ruin it?" Tony asks making her jump a little at his voice he's been told it's cold and sounds like honey looks

"Not at all" Betty assures him reaching for her sketch book from the seat next to her

"Here take a look" Betty says showing him the painting

The painting is water colored and using soft bright colors she's drawn a swing that reaches into the sky and on the swing someone is sitting staring into the sunset clouded sky as the galaxy and starts peer through the clouds and lantern fish swim around the top of the swing, it's unfinished but it's beautiful she's really good.

"You're really good" Tony tells her and her cheeks dust a rosy pink at the compliment

"Thanks, I hope you don't mind I'm here by the way" Betty tells him setting it down in her lap

"It's fine beside the nurses will probably thank you" Tony tells her turning back to stare up at the ceiling

"I'm sorry about that, you probably don't want anyone to know" Betty sighs 

"Not like people didn't already guess" Tony assures her but he knows she's feeling the cold that settles in him

"Wanna talk about science?" Betty offers with a small smile

"Little artsy you know science?" Tony teases with the tiniest of smiles

"I'll have you know good sir that Betty Ross is just as smart as you, so about quantum physics.." Betty jokes back 

They end up talking for hours and Betty watches Tony slowly relax and warm up as they talk until he's jumping all over the place totally entranced with the conversation letting more of his bubbly excitable nature come through and his hands move as wildly as they could trying to keep up with his mouth and she can't help the laughs he causes. Fury watches from a safe distance away watching the two excitable talk and laugh and even snags a picture of them in the moment and wishes Maria could have been around to see her son, wished she was strong enough to fight for him but at least he can show her these times from where ever she is watching them. He doesn't stay and leaves as unnoticed as he had come knowing there isn't anything for him to do and instead works on getting into the compound with the others by slowly moving his things in and doing some paperwork and while Tony is still saying no now he's sure that'll change a little bit by the time he can leave.

They talk until it gets dark and by then Tony was beginning to doze off with the medication freshly pumping through him so Betty can sneak out as Phil comes to take over for the night more to just be there than anything else really since they'll have him knocked out for most of the night to ensure he's getting the rest he needs. Phil sets up the chairs so they act as a poor bed grabs a spare blanket and pillow from one of the nurses as settles in for the night reading on his tablet and hourly checks on the kid as he sleeps and he sleeps well not once showing any kind of distress which Phil counts as a win and he can't stop the fatherly feeling that blooms inside him. When Phil was put as leader for the new talented teens team he had been skeptical but one by one that same feeling burned and he knew this was his calling and these were his kids and he'd do anything for them and protect them even against the past trauma they all share some worse than others but all the same. Needing a home that's safe and warm, somewhere to call their home and know they are loved and needed. Home.

It's early in the morning when he wakes next able to watch the sun rise through his window as the blacks and purples change to pinks oranges and yellows that paint the clouds and sky while birds chirp even though inside the hospital it's dimly lit and quiet just the odd walking around or a bell maybe some machines but for the most part everything seems to pause around him. Tony offers the nurse that tip toes in a small thumbs up as she gives him his round of meds and a little check up on how things are before she sneaks back out that's when Tony turns to observe the man sleeping beside the bed looking very uncomfortable cramped between the two chairs like that. Tony recognizes him as Coulson they man who had gotten Fury to leave his room leaving him to take his chance, he's tall like Fury but slimmer and pale skinned with short neat pale blond hair and he's wearing navy slacks and a white button up with a few buttons undone to make it more comfortable, on one of the chairs sits a navy SHIELD issued bomber and he's wearing a watch on his right wrist.

Tony's picking at the tray of food set before him when Coulson begins to stir and Tony wonders what the man will do probably be like Fury but he seems like the mothering type which Tony didn't really like but shift change should be soon anyway and Tony kind of hopes Betty will come back he liked her and she knew her stuff to be able to keep up to him. Tony slowly chews a piece of melon as the man stretches and sits up a bit groggy still but none the less tidies himself up before he looks at Tony with a soft smile he seems to usually wear by how it's the first he does when he sees someone not even fazed by Tony's cold uninterested staring back at him.

"How are you feeling?" Coulson asks checking the time

"You act like a mom" Tony says offhand 

"I'll take that as a good thing, anyway I'm sure you'd rather me alone but one of my kids will be along shortly" Coulson informs him

"Better like gore than" Tony grumbles making Coulson perch a perfect brow

"Dressing changes" Tony sighs as if he should have already know that

"Of course but not to worry I think they'll be okay" Coulson assures him someone oozing calm and friendly aura

Tony doesn't bother replying instead chews another piece of fruit slowly and for a long time more just to waste time than to actually eat anything he just wants the dressing changes done so they can leave him alone cause that shit is going to hurt like a bitch and he hopes they knock him out after so he doesn't have to deal with it. An hour passes before Coulson collects his things and leaves not long after a boy appears shyly unsure if he's allowed to enter but after a moment he steps in and takes a seat in one of the chairs putting his bag down next to him and adjusts his glasses before looks Tony over calculating the injuries and Tony can already tell he's got some interest in medicine. This kid is about 5'9 and stockier than Tony too some muscle some weight and fair skinned but he's tanned too and his eyes don't match one is brown the other is green; his hair is dark brown and wavy cut short and neatly styled as he wearing a pair of dark plaid chinos with green sneakers and a purple quarter sleeve shirt.

"I'm Bruce by the way" He finally says and he reminds Tony of Betty that way

"You and Betty huh?" Tony says making Bruce jump and flush a little

"She said you were good with that kind of stuff" Bruce huffs with a smile

"Hate to interrupt you boys but I'm afraid it's time" A nurse says offering Tony a small smile of sympathy

"Just knock me out after" Tony groans 

"We'll see" The doctor says as they get to work

The dressing change takes longer than he had thought it would but it was just as painful and tiring as he had thought if felt like they were tearing off pieces of skin after it stuck to him from whatever reason and a few of the tubes were changed but not the ones attached to his chest which he's thankful for but it means that taking them to change is far too risky at the moment. Bruce sits patiently watching telling Tony medical and science facts to help even through Tony just growls back at him and when they're finished he doesn't even need them to knock him out he's doing it on his own, before they all leave Tony is starting to slip under again. Bruce watches as the teen passes out luckily he was already laying down and in no danger so Bruce sits and waits doing work in his book or talking to the nurses as he waits for Tony to wake up or for the shifts to change so time will tell as to which will happen first.

His stomach turns as he feels like he's floating but he knows he's passed out so it's not too bad so he sleeps and sleeps and sleeps unaware that time is passing and soon it'll be dark outside and three shifts have come and gone to watch over his sleeping body which really is a waste of their time with him like this. Tony wakes to darkness and dimmed lights so a glance to the window shows stars in the sky and a look to the other side Tony sees the room empty and he's glad for it he didn't need these people here. He didn't need anyone. Tony stays up the whole night with some paper and a pen he managed to get the nurse to give him and began working again to make up for the lost time and quickly loses track of time but after a while a small mistake appears in his work and he loses control shredding everything unable to stand the idea of himself making sure a mistake. With the curtains drawn and the door closed Tony sits there covered in the shredded paper alone and he keeps it that way not even letting the nurses in instead he pushes everything deep inside and focuses on the pain that begins to drag down on him without the pain medication running through him. 

This continues for a few days before they come back unable to stay away any longer as the tubes need to be removed from his chest so he's taken to surgery and put under meanwhile his room is tidied and one nurse stays longer taping the pieces back together before setting the fixed pages down on the night stand with some of the drawing that had been sent in for him. With only a few weeks left in his stay Tony is left to make a choice of where he's going to go after this but he's sure it's out of his hands this time since he is still a minor and with SHIELD in the mix now he knows what'll happen so for now he'll need to focus on getting himself well enough to work again. When he comes to next he's only sore and uncomfortable meaning they had given him another doses already and the sun is high meaning it must be some time in the afternoon that's when he looks around and finds the stack left by the nurse and with a sigh he takes the stack and sets it on his lap. The artwork comes from different ages and styles but each has a little note written on them so he sets them aside for later and looks at the work that had been taped back together until he finds the mistake and fixes it then triple checks the other pages to make sure there aren't anymore and while he doesn't feel much he's glad it's the only one.

A couple minutes later the door opens and Tony finds a girl coming in her bubbly personality already showing in her smile and the bounce in her step, she's about the same height as Betty and a little fuller figured but still slim with rosy skin and light blonde hair half tied up with a pink ribbon bow and ruby studs in her ears. She's got blue eyes and she's wearing a black tennis skirt with a flowing white tank top tucked in and over that she wears a pink cardigan and white wedge sandals, over her shoulder sits a strawberry shaped bag with ballet shoes tied to one of the straps and as she takes a seat Tony can see a piece of hand wraps sticking out as well. 

"I'm Laura" She says offering her small hand the nails painted pink with sparkles

"Tony" He says shaking her hand no longer caring who they send

"I heard you had a big procedure today, how are feeling?" Laura asks checking him over

"Highly medicated" Tony informs her and her smile widens

"Better than not, so tell me do you like dogs?" Laura asks digging out her phone


	3. Choosing a path

"Do I like dogs?" Tony asks back

"Yes, do you like them?" Laura laughs

"Yeah, why?" Tony asks and she climbs on partly next to him

"This is Snow Ball my Samoyed" Laura says showing him a picture

"Basic name but he's cute" Tony says and she rolls her eyes

"I was little alright" Laura huffs before showing him more pictures

They spend the rest of her shifts looking at pictures and videos of her own dog and then random stuff as they get sucked into a hole of other videos and by the time she's leaving Phil is coming to cover the night or so they had thought but it's not Phil instead it's another boy but not one he's met yet either so why is he here. This time the boy is about 5'10 or 11 with a lean nicely toned body and dark skin with short black hair and hazel eyes and dressed comfortable in grey joggers and a black hoodie with red birds on the sleeves and red sneakers with a backpack hung on one shoulder full of things to do as he passes the time probably. 

"Sam? I thought Phil was coming" Laura says getting up confused

"Yeah late night at the office so I'm covering for him" Sam shrugs dropping the bag by the chairs

"Okay, night Tony" Laura says before grabbing her things and leaving

"You know they knock me out at night right?" Tony says as Sam takes a seat

"Yup but I've got this bad boy" Sam says pulling out a switch

Tony merely shakes his head and not long after a nurse comes flattening the bed and pushing in the new round of beds quickly knocking him out so he can rest but tonight was different since after only a few hours of sleep Tony begins to stir confused and uncomfortable as something rises in his throat and he bolts up hurting himself more but barely manages to catch the bloody vomit in his hand. Sam is fast quickly grabbing a trash can and places in front of him as he vomits again while the other arm is placed around his shoulder for extra support as Tony's bloody hand grips the trash can feeling everything hurt at once but not for long a nurse is quick to arrive. She flushes his line before sending in a new round before helping Sam lay him back down and cleans him up as he passes back out but Sam ends up staying awake that night not wanting to miss the next time if there was a next time instead he sits up and watches between Tony and the switch until the next morning. Tony ends up sleeping through the shift change but when he wakes another kid is there this one looks a little like Bruce same frame and muscle build but his skin is fair and he's got short spiky blond hair and oak brown eyes, Tony can see the hearing aids behind both ears as well from where he's laying down. This kid is wearing olive cargo shorts with tan combat boots and a baggy graphic tee as he fiddles with a sling shot perched on the chair instead of sitting on it like a normal person but he reacts faster than Tony would have thought given the hearing issue.

"You're new" Tony grumbles groggily and feeling like shit

"Dude a warning next time" The other teen grumbles back after startling

"Whatever bird brain" Tony huffs rolling his eyes

"Rude, name's Clint" He says with he's teasing from the toothy grin he's got on his face

"Tony, what time is it?" Tony asks looking around

"Uh like 11" Clint shrugs snapping the band of rubber finally happy with it

"Clint do mind steeping outside?" A nurse asks as Tony sits up

"Not at all, I'll be outside" Clint tells him before leaving

"You haven't been eating" The nurse tells him

"And?" Tony asks already defensive

"The doctors want a feeding tube-" She starts to explain only to tense up when he yells at her

"ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT!!" Tony yells at her angrily

"I know it's not what you want-" She tries to add

"IT'S NOT FUCKING HAPPENING!!" Tony shouts side swiping the table next to him scattering the items on it with a crash

"You can't lose any more weight" The nurse tries to coax him

"NO now get out" Tony snarls and she does

Before Clint could even try to come back in after that episode he hears Tony scream and the monitors go crazy making the nurse and a few more rush in followed by a doctor he can't make out what they're shouting over Tony's screaming but it must not be good since he's shooed out before anyone comes out of the room again. As soon as she's gone Tony screams ripping out the IV and anything else connected to him and begins to rip and dig at the bandages which makes them all come back and struggle to hold him and lay him flat before they can sedate him again and fix the damage he's caused to himself and he pulls up a hell of a fight too. They don't let anyone see him for the next couple days and make sure he's heavily sedated even switching out the nose prongs for a mask hoping it would help more and they've strapped down his wrists as best they could with all the injuries on them more for the sake of him not opening the cuts or any things else even with the sedation. 

When they finally let people come back this time he knows the girl who sits by his bed in a chair somberly quiet watching him as he stares out the window still sedated with the mask and restraints on which much make him look much worse but right now he doesn't care he's done fighting and she knows it too. Her small 5'4 four hourglass figure seems smaller than he remembered, her fair skin dotted with little freckles and those sad dark green and brown eyes that take in his every inch. Her amber brown locks curled and styled nicely short and give off a vintage vibe so do her clothes those in areas like the high waisted blue sailor shorts, the work boots with a heel on them, the tights under to protect her legs and an oversized vintage teen tucked in to the front of her shorts and folded nearly in her arms is the borrowed hoodie of someone much bigger than her.

"I'm scared Tony" Peggy confesses to him

"You can't leave me alone" Peggy says feeling hot tears on her cheeks

"You don't need me" Tony rasps and he feels her hand grip his

"That's a lie and you know it" Peggy snaps at him

"Is it?" Tony asks looking at her finally with those hollow dazed eyes

"Tony this isn't freedom" Peggy says trying not to cry as her other hand moves to touch his cheek and she leans over him

"I never thought it was" Tony tells her and she wished he'd at least get angry she hated seeing him so emotionless

"They're gone Tony, you should be free from them" Peggy reminds him her tears dropping on the blanket

"I'm tired" Tony confesses closing his eyes

"I know you are" Peggy whispers hugging him gently as to not hurt him anymore

Peggy holds her last connection to any family she's ever had outside of SHIELD and cries quietly as he follows asleep in her arms and can't let go too scared he'd stop breathing at any moment, Peggy and him had talked about how free he'd be when his parents died and the abuse would stop, they talked about all the things they'd do and how things would change. She wants to believe even for a little while he felt free of everything but she knows how Tony is and how destructive he is to himself and she regrets not fighting harder when he tried to push her away, she wished she'd been in the car that night or there as soon as she found out they'll say with her forever now those burning regrets. After a while she calms down and draws back wiping her tears and instead she sits in the chair laying an arm down on the bed and resting her head on that to watch his sleeping face as her free hand holds his fingers loosely afraid she'd hurt him but she smiles a little when the fingers curl back around hers. Peggy ends up sleeping emotionally worn out by the interaction and when she wakes she finds her boyfriend sitting beside her in the empty chair sketching in his sketch pad ever the artist she's grown to love but still she doesn't move just watches him back and wonders how she got so lucky.

Steve is tall and built like a six foot tall dorito with fair skin and short neat slicked back blond hair and baby blue eyes the very all American type boy you'd think associated with that kind of idea, he's wearing his paint covered jeans and some combat boots and around his waist sits the flannel he must have been wearing over the white tee he is now. Steve had come to change out with Peggy but when he finds her sleeping there head on the bed and holding the sleeping boys hand he doesn't have the heart to wake her and instead creeps into the next chair over and pulls his art supplies from his bag and begins to sketch out the scene before him. After a while he looks up to find her watching him a small smile and he feels a light dusting of red grace his cheeks but he smiles back anyway and turns to pad so she can see what he's been drawing and she finally gets up to inspect it closer just as she focuses in one the picture they both startle by a loud beeping flat line.

When the nurses and doctors rush in with the crash cart Steve has to physically carry Peggy out as she screams his name trying to stay with him, Steve ends up holding her in his lap after she's calmed down a bit throat sore from screaming and feeling like her soul has shattered and Steve doesn't know what to do and just holds her. Moments after she's calmed down everyone else rushes in after getting his text and he's surprised to see them all show up even Nat and Bucky who hadn't even met him yet but here they all are showing a wide variety of worry and sadness as they take their seats and they all wait hoping to see the best possible outcome.

Tony sleeps even as he feels himself sink into the darkness like a calming cradle and he feels when his body finally lets go and he feels himself finally rest even though he doesn't feel any better and then he hears her screaming his name over and over and then he feels them try to jump start his heart and Tony finds himself in a cross road. Literally too standing in the middle of a cross road where one side is dark and welcoming that he had been yearning for and the other was an unfinished path but he can hear her calling for him and his mind won't make a decision and that's when he sees it a small orange cat with pink eyes and a halo around its head. The cat is sitting on the unfinished path waiting for him and as much as Tony wants to sink into the darkness for good he can feel himself being dragged to the unfinished path so he follows the cat and just as he reaches the end he feels his body jolt up off the bed and then air rushes his lungs like heavy ice water and he can hear the heart beat ping on the monitor.

A heavy weight settles on him as he comes too eyes opening a slit as he breathes from the tube down his throat with hazy glasses over eyes he can't see out he can see the hospital lights blinding down on him and soon the hands on him let go and he can hear people crying and cheering as the machine pumps air down his throat and into his lungs even though it burns. The next thing he knows Peggy is there still crying as her shaky hands hold onto his face and he open his eyes a little more and leans into the warmth as his breathing gets easier and then he feels her tears drop down onto his face to roll down his own cheeks and she places their foreheads together as if she could read his thoughts. 

"You did it" Peggy whispers voice strained

"Too loud" Tony thinks tiredly and she laughs a watery laugh

"I heard that asshole" She laughs through the crying


End file.
